Ice HockeyMany years ago there were "people" on earth, and many of

Posted on:31/10/2014 By:admin

Ice Hockey

Many years ago there were "people" on earth, and many of these "people" chose to live in miserable freezing climates that God abandoned, like Canada. Since cars hadn't been invented yet, and horses refused to live in Canada, there was a lot of walking, although historians aren't really sure where anyone was walking, unless they were just attempting to get as far away as possible from their current location. The problem with walking in these horrible, horrible places is that the ground was always covered with ice. Many louboutin sale outlet solutions to walking on this ice were conceived, most of which involved strapping something badass to your shoes, like mini flamethrowers or midgets equipped with snow shovels. Finally, in a moment of pure awesomeness, sombody decided to strap a pair of knives to their feet and the ice skate/knife boot was born.

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Suddenly, there was something to do with knife christian louboutin sale uk boots that involved a projectile, so the next logical step was to make a game, however, playing a sport where all you did was kick an object around while not using your hands could make even the manliest knife boot owner feel like a complete wuss. Something had to be done. The danger level was improving, but there still weren't enough weapons involved. Which brings us to.

Whenver Canadians are feeling like a bunch of pussies, they do the only logical thing and go club some deadly, poisonous baby seals, an act which has been scientifically rent christian louboutin proven to increase the size of that certain part of the male anatomy. One day, while fighting off a huge pack of ferral baby seals, it became apparent to the group that not only was the club kick ass, but it could also be used to fling the shit out of seal brains, which are remrkably similar to dog turds, and therefore also like the pucks they were too embarassed to be seen kicking at one another. So, they proceeded to strap on their knife boots, grabbed the most badass club in their vast collection, and started whaking the shit mulberry bags sale out of the puck, and one another.

Originally the winner was determined by figuring out who finished the game with the least amount of bruises, or by awarding the win to the guy who was alive at the end of the game. If no one was left alive, bystanders would steal the clubs and knife boots and have a rematch. This was a critial moment for the sport of hockey. How could they manage to continue playing this awesome game and yet insure that no more innocent beer would be lost? There had to be something in place to make sure that a sport mulberry handbags sale would never again interfere with getting shit faced.

After playing Death Club/Knife Boot (hockey's original name, widley refered to as as DCKB) for a few years, attendance at the games began to taper off. Spectators were questioned and threatened into admitting that they found it hard to root for any particular player, as it was almost certain that thier favorite competitor would be dead by the end of the game. Thus began the formation of teams, which increased the odds of rooting for a player that would be left alive at the game's mulberry lily conclusion. Soon, rivalries started to form and people finally had a supporting argument as to why every city other than their own sucks balls.

The origins of the National Hockey League started in 1893, when NHL commisioner Gary Bettman's ancestors decided they wanted to create a sports league for an eventual heir to run into the ground. The NHL was spawned from several existing hockey leagues, including the IHL (International Hockey League), NHA (National Hockey Association), PCHA (Pacific Coast Hockey Association), SUPHPA (Shut cheap mulberry bags Up and Play Hockey, Pussy, Association), and the WTFHL (Self explanitory). In order to facilitate a spirit of competition and overall attitude that one city rules while the rest suck, Lord Stanley of Preston, the Governer General of Canada stole his wife's solid silver chamber pot (while she was using it) and declared it as hockey's top prize. To his credit he did have to check her into the bedroom wall and knock out three teeth before engaging in an elaborate game of keep away with the house staff in order to obtain the cup. The staff later louboutin shoes outlet cleaned and sterilized the Stanley estate, but neglected to clean the cup itself (Think about all of that when you see players giving it a big kiss).

In the years that followed, many more teams were added to the league, many teams moved from city to city in an attempt to remind the residents of their former cities that it is the city itself and it's residents, not the team, that actually sucks balls. The current incanation of the NHL consists of 32 teams, 31 of whom's fans are reminded annually that their city sucks (balls).

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