If The Internet Disappeared
That bought Oz and me about 20 minutes, and we made the most of it. A journal is no place for sexual details, but I should note that Oz's claims about not having Daddy issues were decidedly untrue.
Tobey came back with coffee and an unusual degree of energy.
"Here's your dingo juice, Oz," he said, handing over the coffee. "Let's work the cleavage tomorrow as per our agreement, OK?" Oz mulberry outlet uk took her coffee "Oh, by the way, Gladstone, the government has declared you a person of interest under the NET Recovery Act."Tobey handed me a photo, and there I was. They'd even based an artist's rendering on Jeeves's description. There was a reward, but, for the moment, no one knew my name.
I turned on the TV. Apparently, the government wasn't the only one after me. Some religious groups were calling for my imprisonment. These folks mulberry bags outlet believed God had smited the Net like a virtual Gomorrah. By that same logic, anyone who sought to return it was working against God's will. Furthermore, I had to be a blasphemer because I called myself the messiah. It didn't seem to matter to them that I never called myself that.
There was also rising speculation from some that I had stolen the Internet. It was a complicated theory that went a little something like this: Who better mulberry clutch to return something than the person who stole it? Actually, that was pretty much the whole theory. Anyway, they didn't like me either.
Not everyone hated me though. Several foreign governments were offering the Internet messiah millions to defect from America and bring the Internet back to their country. A spokesman for Japan offered 500 million and a lifetime tax free residence. Germany had a vaguely similar offer. Saudi Arabia, however, mulberry alexa promised "countless riches" and 24/7 military protection from those "who would see the streets run red with the messiah's Zionist blood." (I knew that artist's rendering was slightly more Semitic than necessary.)
"No offer from Australia, " Tobey said. "Harsh tokes."
"Yeah, I guess they couldn't spare any Bloomin' Onions," I said.
"Crikey," Tobey offered.
"Crikey, indeed. The crikiest."
"Crikey has mulberry bags on sale more than one meaning, right, Oz?" Tobey asked. "Like how you can use 'Smurf' in lots of ways ."
"I hate you fuckwads so very much."
"OK, enough tooling on Oz," I said. "What am I gonna do?"
"I'd go with Japan," Tobes suggested. "Not that Germany isn't tempting. They both have great porn, but I dunno, Japanese women are just hotter on average."
"No, I mean how am I gonna leave this room with the whole world looking louboutin outlet uk for me?"
"Well, couldn't you just, y'know, work for the government?" Oz asked. "Seems they'd make it worth your while."
"First of all, fuck the government and their bullshit NET Recovery Act. Who even knows what they're up to. And more importantly, fuck you. I'm not looking for a job. I'm off the grid. I'm free. The disability payments keep me alive, and I answer to no one. All I have to do is nothing. "
Tobey and cheap christian louboutin Oz didn't look directly at me."Nothing," Tobey said. "I mean, most people hate their job, y'know? Would it really be so bad?"
"Are you fucking kidding, me? You think you know what a job is? You blog for a living. You work in your boxers, cruising news reports you can add blowjob jokes to, and then scrape the ad revenue for rent. You're gonna talk to me about work?"
"Easy, Gladstone," Oz said.
"No, I'm not going to take roger vivier boots it easy. You were so disgusted by the notion of a job that you let strangers watch you shower for money. I put in my time. I'm done. "
No one said anything for awhile. I sat at the desk chair, radiating the martyrdom of a misunderstood teen. And in return, Oz silently smoked her cigarette in a way that put her pain only partially on display: hiding the ancient scars while flaunting the fresh wounds I had inflicted. Tobey watched TV.