How To Refrain from BackbitingDiscussing a third, absent person negatively

Posted on:28/01/2015 By:admin

How To Refrain from Backbiting

Discussing a third, absent person negatively with others is a common habit among all and sundry, but more so among women. Women are emotional by nature, so when someone wrongs them or treats them unfairly, they easily become hurt and angry. Being naturally expressive and talkative, they can usually not restrain themselves from venting their frustrations to people close to them. This gives rise to the vicious and destructive habit of backbiting, one that ruins social relationships and makes a person more enemies than friends.

However, that is not to imply, in any way, that backbiting about others mbt shoes usa is exclusively a women's domain! At offices in the corporate world, at coffee shops and restaurants, at malls and retail stores, it is not uncommon to behold groups of employees engaged in animated discussions or comical fun making of others, discussing details about "juicy tidbits" of incidents in the latter's lives. There are gossip sessions after meetings and during Happy Hour. Conversations that may innocently start out as discussions of the "latest happenings" in other's lives may become malicious exchanges of others' hidden secrets and bouts of targeted slander. Loyalties are relinquished, promises of secrecy are broken, and people are maligned scarpe mbt with enthusiastic ferocity.

"Did you see her shoes? You'd think she could force herself to have better taste, considering the amount of money she's making by sucking up to the top management!"

"Yes, she was over yesterday. You can see why that should leave me in the bad mood that I'm in right now."

"Wow, isn't she pretty?" "Yeah sure. And she knows it."

It's not just these parties that thrive on news of marital conflicts, illicit liaisons, relationship break ups and celebrity gossip. Even among the youth the teenagers and twenty something people at high schools and colleges, where youngsters inevitably form christian louboutin wedding shoes groups of like minded friends, and where being "cool" and popular rank highest on the list of requirements for social acceptance, targeting other "groups" particularly those having nerds and 'losers' with malicious jibes and false rumors is the norm.

How does one refrain from backbiting about others? There are some effective steps that, when applied to one's life over a long period of time, eventually ensure that one stops this habit of maligning others before people:

If you are a Muslim, always remind yourself that backbiting is prohibited by Allah, and that it incurs His wrath:

Muslims should always be on guard about christian louboutin outlet this social evil, because it facilitates the destruction of amiable human relationships; it exposes people's hidden faults, misdeeds and bad habits; it impedes the inclination to 'forgive and forget', by initiating reminders to decades old hurtful incidents, enticing those who were wronged to perpetually harbor enmity and malice in their hearts, against those who wronged them. Islam has prohibited backbiting in its entirety: even a disdainful smile or facial expression, a scornful look or mocking gesture is disallowed.

"And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate christian louboutin clearance it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah. Verily, Allah is the One Who forgives and accepts repentance, Most Merciful."

[Surah Al Hujurat 49:12]

What is the meaning of "gheebah" (backbiting)? A narration of Prophet Muhammad [Allah's peace and blessings upon him] gives a clear explanation:

It was reported from Abu Hurairah that the Messenger of Allah [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] said:

"Do you know what gheebah is?"

They said: "Allah and His Messenger know best".

He said, "(It is) when you mention something about your brother that he does not like."

It was said, "What do you think christian louboutin pigalle 120 if what I say about my brother is true?"

He said, "If it is true, then you are backbiting against him, and if it is not true, then you are slandering him."

[Sahih Muslim, 4690; Al Tirmidhi, 1857]

It was reported from Abu Hurairah [may Allah be pleased with him] that the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] said:

"The Muslim is the brother of another Muslim; he does not betray him, lie to him or forsake him. The whole of the Muslim is sacred to his fellow Muslim his honour, his wealth and his blood. Taqwa (piety) is here (pointing to his chest). It is sufficient evil for a man to despise his brother."

[Sahih cheap christian louboutin Muslim, 4650; al Tirmidhi, 1850]

It was reported that Anas [may Allah be pleased with him] said: the Messenger of Allah [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] said:

"When I was taken up into the heavens (the Mi'raaj), I passed by some people who had nails of copper with which they were scratching their faces and chests. I said, 'Who are these people, O Jibreel?' He said, 'These are the ones who used to eat the flesh of the people and slander their honour.'"

[Sahih Al Bukhari, 6095; Abu Dawood, 4253]

Remember that those who backbite about others to you, will definitely dish out the same favor to you:

Those christian louboutin wedding shoes who backbite habitually can just not help exposing the faults of others in social gatherings. It exposes their own flagrant weakness of character and morals; by lashing out at absentees with their tongues, they lose their own self respect and dignity. Any wise person will be able to recognize the malice in such people, and abstain from mingling too much with them. The simplest way to think about this issue is, "If he/she can malign another before me, she can malign me before others when I am absent too." Therefore, one should not just avoid taking backbiters as friends, one should also avoid even sitting with them for too long.

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